Before .................................................................................................. After
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Crunching Sane Hash: Church Shenanigans
How could a person resist?
Before .................................................................................................. After
Before .................................................................................................. After
Monday, March 30, 2009
Juggling Three Cars
Our first car was the Pontiac Aztek. We saw it advertised on "Survivor" and decided it looked cool and had features we liked, such as the tent you can add onto the hatch. We bought that tent, and it's still in its box 8 years and $190 later.
Shortly after we moved to Brooklyn, we needed a bigger car. The Aztek seats 5, but we often found ourselves taking friends with us, and after Maeve was born, we didn't have room in the car for even one passenger. We bought a 2004 Honda Odyssey, and two years later we traded up to the 2006 model. Those cars helped us in the move to New Paltz -- they both had fold-down (or removable) seats and could handle at least 30 small boxes each! And when I started driving to Manhattan at the beginning of this school year, the Aztek served my purposes pretty well. I'd had to repair various things over the years, and the repairs were getting pricey, but I thought I was going to run that car into the ground before getting a new one.
Then I saw my first Smart, back in late April of 2008. Suddenly I realized that I had an answer to a problem I hadn't even realized I had. The Smart is less than 9 feet long, just over half the size of the average car. I bought an 'orphan' (a car someone had ordered but had then forsaken) a week later at a time when the economy seemed strong and the wait for Smarts was over 18 months. Looking for parking in Manhattan would never be the same. I used to park the Aztek in the first available spot I saw, then unicycle from wherever that happened to be. Often, that was a mile away. Another time I was late for an important meeting because I spent over 40 minutes parking and ended up on my old block (114th Street) -- nearly two miles from my office.
Third World Problem: I now use the Aztek so seldom that its battery is constantly dying. This started happening when we lived in Brookyln. There, I'd unicycle everywhere, and the 'Tek often languished in the garage for weeks. I killed that battery so bad, I even needed to have it replaced. And since buying the Smart, I've had to charge the Aztek almost once a week, which is about as often as I use it.
Rather than calling Triple-A or having to put two cars together with jumper cables, I wised up years ago and bought a small portable car charger. It's the same kind that AAA uses when they arrive on the scene to give you a boost, and it's only about $100 for the unit, which lasts a long time. But since it's only good for one or two charges at best before recharging, it's a good idea to have a 2nd unit. I now have one charger in the basement at all times, plugged in and ready to go, while the other is in the Smart in case I run into a problem ... or in case I decide to help out some stranded motorist. I've done that three times so far.
Selling the Aztek might have been a decent idea a few years ago, when we discovered that its trade-in value was about $7,000, but at this point, it's probably worth under a grand, so we might as well get out of it as much as we possibly can. I do have to take it into the shop soon, however. I need to update its registration, and it needs a new brake light and a few other minor repairs. One of these days we'll have to break out that tent -- maybe when the weather gets warm. That's what we say every spring.
Shortly after we moved to Brooklyn, we needed a bigger car. The Aztek seats 5, but we often found ourselves taking friends with us, and after Maeve was born, we didn't have room in the car for even one passenger. We bought a 2004 Honda Odyssey, and two years later we traded up to the 2006 model. Those cars helped us in the move to New Paltz -- they both had fold-down (or removable) seats and could handle at least 30 small boxes each! And when I started driving to Manhattan at the beginning of this school year, the Aztek served my purposes pretty well. I'd had to repair various things over the years, and the repairs were getting pricey, but I thought I was going to run that car into the ground before getting a new one.
Then I saw my first Smart, back in late April of 2008. Suddenly I realized that I had an answer to a problem I hadn't even realized I had. The Smart is less than 9 feet long, just over half the size of the average car. I bought an 'orphan' (a car someone had ordered but had then forsaken) a week later at a time when the economy seemed strong and the wait for Smarts was over 18 months. Looking for parking in Manhattan would never be the same. I used to park the Aztek in the first available spot I saw, then unicycle from wherever that happened to be. Often, that was a mile away. Another time I was late for an important meeting because I spent over 40 minutes parking and ended up on my old block (114th Street) -- nearly two miles from my office.
Third World Problem: I now use the Aztek so seldom that its battery is constantly dying. This started happening when we lived in Brookyln. There, I'd unicycle everywhere, and the 'Tek often languished in the garage for weeks. I killed that battery so bad, I even needed to have it replaced. And since buying the Smart, I've had to charge the Aztek almost once a week, which is about as often as I use it.
Rather than calling Triple-A or having to put two cars together with jumper cables, I wised up years ago and bought a small portable car charger. It's the same kind that AAA uses when they arrive on the scene to give you a boost, and it's only about $100 for the unit, which lasts a long time. But since it's only good for one or two charges at best before recharging, it's a good idea to have a 2nd unit. I now have one charger in the basement at all times, plugged in and ready to go, while the other is in the Smart in case I run into a problem ... or in case I decide to help out some stranded motorist. I've done that three times so far.
Selling the Aztek might have been a decent idea a few years ago, when we discovered that its trade-in value was about $7,000, but at this point, it's probably worth under a grand, so we might as well get out of it as much as we possibly can. I do have to take it into the shop soon, however. I need to update its registration, and it needs a new brake light and a few other minor repairs. One of these days we'll have to break out that tent -- maybe when the weather gets warm. That's what we say every spring.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
New Highs in Hypermiling: 50 mpg!
I'm now driving slower than ever. Remember that I travel at a time of day when fewer cars and trucks are on the road -- I couldn't drive 50-60 mph during rush hour, but at 1 in the afternoon or 8 at night, it's not a big deal. I just have to keep an eye out for trucks bearing down on me, and when I see them, I speed up a bit and let them pass without having to slow down.
So over the past month, I've worked at maintaining an average speed of 55 mph. Using the pulse & glide technique (where I speed up to 60 and then coast back to 50, repeating ad nauseam), I've been able to achieve incredible success in stretching my gas pennies further than usual. Over the first 100 fill-ups, I averaged about 44 mpg. But over the last four tankfuls, I've managed almost 50 mpg! I keep track of my mileage at fuelly.com
This means that my average trip takes a few minutes longer each day, but that gives me a few extra minutes to listen to my audio books or to play some music. My P&G'ing keeps me more awake than when I'd drive using cruise control, and I love the car and arrive at my destination in a great mood.
So over the past month, I've worked at maintaining an average speed of 55 mph. Using the pulse & glide technique (where I speed up to 60 and then coast back to 50, repeating ad nauseam), I've been able to achieve incredible success in stretching my gas pennies further than usual. Over the first 100 fill-ups, I averaged about 44 mpg. But over the last four tankfuls, I've managed almost 50 mpg! I keep track of my mileage at fuelly.com
This means that my average trip takes a few minutes longer each day, but that gives me a few extra minutes to listen to my audio books or to play some music. My P&G'ing keeps me more awake than when I'd drive using cruise control, and I love the car and arrive at my destination in a great mood.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Church Anagrams
I couldn't resist. As an inveterate wordsmith and someone who's played Scrabble in tournaments for the past 15 years, I couldn't resist the chance to put a twist on the huge sign outside the mega-church.
Each week, the church changes its sign, always proclaiming something uplifting in 2-foot-tall letters. But two weeks ago, the church came up with something that I instantly anagrammed to something hilarious, and I just had to make the change.
But then, being the nice guy that I am, I put the letters back.
Each week, the church changes its sign, always proclaiming something uplifting in 2-foot-tall letters. But two weeks ago, the church came up with something that I instantly anagrammed to something hilarious, and I just had to make the change.
But then, being the nice guy that I am, I put the letters back.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
The Weirdest Playlist in the World
When I arrived home last night, I realized I'd just played what might have been the weirdest playlist in the history of humanity.
Many linguists have noted that it doesn't take a lot of words for a person to put together a sentence that has never been uttered before. Here's one: Rational cows wrangle parking boogers.
My tunes started out fairly normal. I listened to a few songs from Erran Baron Cohen's "Songs in the Key of Hanukkah." My favorite is the opening track, but I couldn't find a link to it, so here is a link to the 2nd song, "Dreidel." It's a combination of holiday klezmer and rap, with some other styles thrown in, and it's so boppy that it's definitely not just for Hanukkah.
Next I went to some microtonal music by Easley Blackwood, Jr. The scale we're all used to playing has 12 tones, but he has written music with many more notes per octave. The result is music that sounds like it came from another planet, but some of his pieces are hauntingly beautiful, and I find myself drawn to them. My favorite is Opus 28 #3 (Suite in Four Movements).
Then it was on to some solid rap music: "Lookin' Fly," by Murs (featuring will.i.am). My other favorite of Murs is "The Science," an impressive song about the history and struggles of African Americans.
Now, there are probably a lot of people who have listened back-to-back to some Murs and then some Notorious B.I.G, and I'm one of them. I put on a few songs including "Gimme the Loot." Notorious B.I.G.'s murder remains unsolved, but it's safe to say that he came on strong and went out just as fiercely.
It's possible that this playlist wasn't weird enough, so just for fun, I ended with a show tune: "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HeasqkO1Ko&feature=related," from Showboat. The version I've linked to features Helen Morgan, but I much prefer the most recent Broadway production's version by Lonette McKee. The song was written by P.G. Wodehouse (who wrote the famous series of "Jeeves and Wooster" books).
Challenge: Can you put together an even weirder playlist in under 6 songs?
Many linguists have noted that it doesn't take a lot of words for a person to put together a sentence that has never been uttered before. Here's one: Rational cows wrangle parking boogers.
My tunes started out fairly normal. I listened to a few songs from Erran Baron Cohen's "Songs in the Key of Hanukkah." My favorite is the opening track, but I couldn't find a link to it, so here is a link to the 2nd song, "Dreidel." It's a combination of holiday klezmer and rap, with some other styles thrown in, and it's so boppy that it's definitely not just for Hanukkah.
Next I went to some microtonal music by Easley Blackwood, Jr. The scale we're all used to playing has 12 tones, but he has written music with many more notes per octave. The result is music that sounds like it came from another planet, but some of his pieces are hauntingly beautiful, and I find myself drawn to them. My favorite is Opus 28 #3 (Suite in Four Movements).
Then it was on to some solid rap music: "Lookin' Fly," by Murs (featuring will.i.am). My other favorite of Murs is "The Science," an impressive song about the history and struggles of African Americans.
Now, there are probably a lot of people who have listened back-to-back to some Murs and then some Notorious B.I.G, and I'm one of them. I put on a few songs including "Gimme the Loot." Notorious B.I.G.'s murder remains unsolved, but it's safe to say that he came on strong and went out just as fiercely.
It's possible that this playlist wasn't weird enough, so just for fun, I ended with a show tune: "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HeasqkO1Ko&feature=related," from Showboat. The version I've linked to features Helen Morgan, but I much prefer the most recent Broadway production's version by Lonette McKee. The song was written by P.G. Wodehouse (who wrote the famous series of "Jeeves and Wooster" books).
Challenge: Can you put together an even weirder playlist in under 6 songs?
Saturday, January 10, 2009
How Many New Paltzers Does It Take to Screw in a Lightbulb?
Actually, the question should be: How Many Steps Does It Take...
Our house came with sconces outside of each door. We rarely use them. The front door sconce is easy to open, so when the bulbs blew last summer, it was a matter of minutes before they were replaced. The side door sconce is another story. In fact, it might as well be on another story, because changing the bulbs required a ladder. Strangely, it also required a vacuum cleaner.
I had been meaning to change these bulbs for some time, but last week I realized that it was going to be an involved process and that the process would involve daylight. I would have preferred a warm, sunny day, but I settled for 21 degrees and clouds.
It was only when I'd unscrewed the two screws atop the sconce that I noticed that there was bug detritus -- dead flies, eggs, wings -- all around the base of the bulbs. Simply replacing the bulbs might have led to a short circuit or other problems, so the situation called for a vacuum cleaner, meaning that I'd have to operate a vacuum from the top of a ladder that was resting on several inches of snow.
Normally, the changing of a lightbulb requires these steps:
1. Remove old bulb
2. Replace with new bulb
My operation was a bit more complex:
1. Acquire ladder from our nearby shed; place beside door
2. Grab screwdriver from kitchen shelf; place in pocket
3. Ascend ladder
4. Remove 2 screws from sconce
5. Place sconce on handrail of stairs
6. Remove bulbs
7. Descend ladder; discard old bulbs
8. Grab vacuum cleaner; reascend ladder
9. Remove doo-hickey around light fixture; vacuum. Repeat two more times
10. Descend ladder again; put down vacuum cleaner
11. Grab new bulbs; reascend ladder
12. Screw in new bulbs
13. Replace sconce top
14. Replace sconce screws
15. Replace ladder in shed
16. Replace vacuum cleaner in house.
Of course, because I couldn't even remember using this light, I had to check that it was working as soon as I'd replaced the first bulb, meaning that there were at least two more steps in this process. The above list is just a shorthand for my next bulb-changing.
Our house came with sconces outside of each door. We rarely use them. The front door sconce is easy to open, so when the bulbs blew last summer, it was a matter of minutes before they were replaced. The side door sconce is another story. In fact, it might as well be on another story, because changing the bulbs required a ladder. Strangely, it also required a vacuum cleaner.
I had been meaning to change these bulbs for some time, but last week I realized that it was going to be an involved process and that the process would involve daylight. I would have preferred a warm, sunny day, but I settled for 21 degrees and clouds.
It was only when I'd unscrewed the two screws atop the sconce that I noticed that there was bug detritus -- dead flies, eggs, wings -- all around the base of the bulbs. Simply replacing the bulbs might have led to a short circuit or other problems, so the situation called for a vacuum cleaner, meaning that I'd have to operate a vacuum from the top of a ladder that was resting on several inches of snow.
Normally, the changing of a lightbulb requires these steps:
1. Remove old bulb
2. Replace with new bulb
My operation was a bit more complex:
1. Acquire ladder from our nearby shed; place beside door
2. Grab screwdriver from kitchen shelf; place in pocket
3. Ascend ladder
4. Remove 2 screws from sconce
5. Place sconce on handrail of stairs
6. Remove bulbs
7. Descend ladder; discard old bulbs
8. Grab vacuum cleaner; reascend ladder
9. Remove doo-hickey around light fixture; vacuum. Repeat two more times
10. Descend ladder again; put down vacuum cleaner
11. Grab new bulbs; reascend ladder
12. Screw in new bulbs
13. Replace sconce top
14. Replace sconce screws
15. Replace ladder in shed
16. Replace vacuum cleaner in house.
Of course, because I couldn't even remember using this light, I had to check that it was working as soon as I'd replaced the first bulb, meaning that there were at least two more steps in this process. The above list is just a shorthand for my next bulb-changing.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
This Post Cost $152 (or, How Not to Drive up My Hill)
Last night, I spent $152 to get my car from point A, about 300 yards from my house, to point B, my house. In fact, I really only needed to move the car about 3 yards; that is, from point A to point A-point-zero-zero-one.
The car got stuck on a slight uphill in the vicinity of my our neighbor as I drove home last night. Owing to slick conditions -- it was still raining, and there was slush and ice on our road -- I could not safely drive faster than about 10 mph as I went over our bridge. I walked home and explained that I was going to dry some traction sand (that's the two bucks) and also might try putting on one of our new Autosocks.
Autosocks are tire covers made of Kevlar and other strong materials; they're designed to help you drive in slick conditions. The problem is that the company hadn't yet sent the small ones for my Smart Car, so I decided to try the larger size socks intended for our other cars. This is not advisable.
The socks worked great, but one of them got stuck inside the wheel near the axle. I could drive, but I couldn't drive fast or else I'd cause my own car fire. As a fireman, it would be even more embarrassing that usual if the fire department arrived to put out a car fire only to discover that I had started it. I took the car to our garage and paid Farooge $20 to remove the sock. As expected, the sock was torn, and since you can't just order one of them, I have to buy a new pair, costing $100. So far I'm out $122.
Shirra was hoping to go to her Pilates class this morning. In fact, she was counting on it. But owing to my confusing plans, she had to take the kids to school instead of relying on me. That brought the total to $152.
Follow-up:
When I arrived at Shirra's store an hour after writing the above post, there was a box waiting for me. It was the Autosocks for my Smart Car. They'd arrived yesterday but were given to the owner of a neighboring store. He normally brings things over right away, but Shirra's store was closed yesterday. Ah well.
The car got stuck on a slight uphill in the vicinity of my our neighbor as I drove home last night. Owing to slick conditions -- it was still raining, and there was slush and ice on our road -- I could not safely drive faster than about 10 mph as I went over our bridge. I walked home and explained that I was going to dry some traction sand (that's the two bucks) and also might try putting on one of our new Autosocks.
Autosocks are tire covers made of Kevlar and other strong materials; they're designed to help you drive in slick conditions. The problem is that the company hadn't yet sent the small ones for my Smart Car, so I decided to try the larger size socks intended for our other cars. This is not advisable.The socks worked great, but one of them got stuck inside the wheel near the axle. I could drive, but I couldn't drive fast or else I'd cause my own car fire. As a fireman, it would be even more embarrassing that usual if the fire department arrived to put out a car fire only to discover that I had started it. I took the car to our garage and paid Farooge $20 to remove the sock. As expected, the sock was torn, and since you can't just order one of them, I have to buy a new pair, costing $100. So far I'm out $122.
Shirra was hoping to go to her Pilates class this morning. In fact, she was counting on it. But owing to my confusing plans, she had to take the kids to school instead of relying on me. That brought the total to $152.
Follow-up:
When I arrived at Shirra's store an hour after writing the above post, there was a box waiting for me. It was the Autosocks for my Smart Car. They'd arrived yesterday but were given to the owner of a neighboring store. He normally brings things over right away, but Shirra's store was closed yesterday. Ah well.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Let's Take It to the Bridge
On Thursday afternoon, the rusted metal pipe that created a culvert under our bridge finally gave out. Its collapse created a large hole -- just about the size of my Smart Car (tho luckily I'm only guessing this and didn't find this out the hard way!). Shirra was lucky enough to get ahold of our road guy, Tim, and he was over in less than a half hour. Shortly thereafter, we had a bandaid in place of the real work to come, but at least it allowed us to cross the bridge again.
But then yesterday, while taking the kids to Woodstock, I noticed that a hole had reappeared. Since we don't have a culvert, the large stones that Tim put down are only going to wash away as they're buffeted by the gentle tide of the lake and the not-so-gentle pounding of heavy automobiles. I put a pylon into the hole as a warning to other drivers, but by the time we'd returned, the pylon had been almost completely swallowed up as the hole enlarged. At this point, I could probably get the Smart Car past it, but I'd rather not take the risk. Shirra and I are simply walking past the hole to where our cars await us on the other side.
We're hoping to have a new culvert soon -- and we're running out of time! The forecast calls for snow this Thursday. This isn't the best timing. With any luck, we'll have a few estimates by tomorrow and will have the work done by Wednesday or Thursday. If not.... Well, life could get even more interesting.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Trapped in Manhattan
There was an ice storm warning, so I expected this might happen: It was too dangerous for me to drive home, so I had to sleep over at my mom's (which is also where I tutor).
I realized around midnight that my car was on the 'wrong' side for tomorrow and would have to be moved by 11 am, so I decided to take care of that just now rather than in the morning. Since it's the country's (world's?) smallest production car, I knew that it wouldn't be too hard to find a spot nearby, but this time I managed to wedge the car into the smallest space it's been squeezed into since the summer.
I have maybe three inches, total, of wiggle room.
Of course, as soon as I got out of the car, I noticed this cute little tomato just behind me:
It was only on my way home that I realized... I didn't have to move the car at all; I'm taking it to the dealer tomorrow morning to get snow tires. D'oh!
I realized around midnight that my car was on the 'wrong' side for tomorrow and would have to be moved by 11 am, so I decided to take care of that just now rather than in the morning. Since it's the country's (world's?) smallest production car, I knew that it wouldn't be too hard to find a spot nearby, but this time I managed to wedge the car into the smallest space it's been squeezed into since the summer.
I have maybe three inches, total, of wiggle room.
Of course, as soon as I got out of the car, I noticed this cute little tomato just behind me:
It was only on my way home that I realized... I didn't have to move the car at all; I'm taking it to the dealer tomorrow morning to get snow tires. D'oh!
Monday, December 08, 2008
Smart Car after 20,000 Miles
Well, I made it to 20K before the snow hit; who knows what's going to happen with that car in the next few months. Will I be able to drive it up our path? The highway? Time will tell. Actually, I'm most afraid of Rte 32 -- that's the only place a nasty head-on collision could occur. Ironic that the highway is much safer than a two-lane road in a rural place.
I had some electrical hiccups with Cheewawa, as I've come to call my car, and I had to take the car in recently for its 20,000-mile check-up anyway, so I was hoping that they could take care of the routine maintenance and the minor repairs at the same time. At first they thought I had a problem with one of the electrical components called a SAM, but replacing the SAM didn't help. Then they blamed the alternator. But before they put the car up on the lift again, they tested the battery and discovered that it was faulty. A simple battery change was all I needed. Now the car runs like a dream.
I'm still getting excellent mileage, tho it definitely diminishes with the decreasing temperature. Normally I get about 47 miles to a gallon, but lately I've been hovering more around 42-44. Partly this is due to the wind -- it was ferocious yesterday and for part of today, and the car had to fight just to roll down the hill.
I've added a small armrest in the car (it doesn't reach out as far as I'd like, but it adds a bit of storage) and put in a 6-CD changer, which helps with those books-on-CD, but otherwise the car is basically unmodified. My next alteration, however, is for safety: snow tires. I'm putting them on this week! Gotta have a safe Cheewawa!
I had some electrical hiccups with Cheewawa, as I've come to call my car, and I had to take the car in recently for its 20,000-mile check-up anyway, so I was hoping that they could take care of the routine maintenance and the minor repairs at the same time. At first they thought I had a problem with one of the electrical components called a SAM, but replacing the SAM didn't help. Then they blamed the alternator. But before they put the car up on the lift again, they tested the battery and discovered that it was faulty. A simple battery change was all I needed. Now the car runs like a dream.
I'm still getting excellent mileage, tho it definitely diminishes with the decreasing temperature. Normally I get about 47 miles to a gallon, but lately I've been hovering more around 42-44. Partly this is due to the wind -- it was ferocious yesterday and for part of today, and the car had to fight just to roll down the hill.
I've added a small armrest in the car (it doesn't reach out as far as I'd like, but it adds a bit of storage) and put in a 6-CD changer, which helps with those books-on-CD, but otherwise the car is basically unmodified. My next alteration, however, is for safety: snow tires. I'm putting them on this week! Gotta have a safe Cheewawa!
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
All Tucked in for Winter
My Smart Car is not the ideal car for winter driving. It might do ok on snow, but I'm not sure I want to be driving that little thing on highways with huge trucks passing me by, and in some ways I'm even more scared of driving on Rt 32, where head-on collisions are a rare but terrifying prospect. Even our road is going to be a hazard -- it's unpaved, and there are tricky patches and some hills. So I might have to keep the car under wraps for a few weeks now and then when the weather tells me to.
The previous owners of our house used to have a garage. For some reason that I still don't understand, they converted it to a shed. I noticed, however, that the Smart Car is just narrow enough to fit under the porch of the shed. By backing it in carefully, I can keep the car from getting covered in snow. I'm not sure if this is ever going to prove helpful, but it certainly has proved cute. I like how it looks like a guinea pig in a hutch.
Emmett's guinea pig, Snowball...
Smart Firemen
I was walking around Main Street when I spotted another Smart Car in New Paltz, and the driver was heading towards Shirra's store. I caught up with him and chatted for awhile. It turns out that he's also a fire fighter (as is his wife) -- I had noticed the little plate on the front of his car -- and that he lives in Woodstock.
A few days later I was shopping when I noticed his car in the parking lot. I didn't manage to spot the owner, but I got a cute shot of our cars side by side. I am jealous of his yellow -- that's an awesome color!
When Shirra and I first moved to New Paltz, I experienced a lot of coincidences, like how our next-door neighbor's son was born in the same hospital on the same day or how my long-lost best friend from childhood ended up moving to NP a few years ahead of us and has a son in our son's class. I'm glad the coincidences have continued -- it makes life more interesting.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Baloonacy
The Macy*s Day Parade is insane enough, but the festivities of the balloon-inflating day have gotten out of control.
Near the end of the previous millennium, things were different. A person could walk from my mom's apartment building, cross the street, pick up some food at the local Somewhat Original Ray's Pizza, and head back home. Elapsed time: 10 minutes on a slow day. And you didn't even need proof of your address or a party invitation! Shirra remembers an evening back in 1994 when we visited her friend Eileen a few blocks away for her big annual Turkey Eve party. We hustled over, hung about for a couple hours, and made our way back, noting how some of the balloons were a bit more inflated when we returned than when we'd left.
Just a few years later, however, the thing had gone viral. Blame word of mouth, blame the more-bored-than-usual media, blame the police, but when thousands of people started to make the balloon inflation into some kind of party event, the infotainment reporters arrived along with the police barricades, and that was the end of that. It took us more than ten minutes just to walk one block downtown on Columbus with Fiona in the stroller -- a mistake we never made again -- and pretty much took Eileen's party off our to-do list forevermore. At that was only 1998.
Here is a photo someone took of my mom's block last year.
I imagine someone -- someone staying in a hotel -- saying, "Ooh! Isn't that Shrek? What's he doing here, that big green silly! I can't believe I'm standing so close to greatness!"
And now things are totally out of control. Shirra was blocked from passing thru one of the barricades because some rookie cop thought that she and the kids were just sightseers pretending to live on 81st Street. Direction-barkers are still making announcements to balloon workers at 11pm, and as I was putting the kids to bed in my old room (the one that faces the street), we could hear bands playing jaunty music to late-night revelers who came to watch -- oh, joy! -- the commingling of helium, painted rubber, and thousands of sandbags.
Near the end of the previous millennium, things were different. A person could walk from my mom's apartment building, cross the street, pick up some food at the local Somewhat Original Ray's Pizza, and head back home. Elapsed time: 10 minutes on a slow day. And you didn't even need proof of your address or a party invitation! Shirra remembers an evening back in 1994 when we visited her friend Eileen a few blocks away for her big annual Turkey Eve party. We hustled over, hung about for a couple hours, and made our way back, noting how some of the balloons were a bit more inflated when we returned than when we'd left.
Just a few years later, however, the thing had gone viral. Blame word of mouth, blame the more-bored-than-usual media, blame the police, but when thousands of people started to make the balloon inflation into some kind of party event, the infotainment reporters arrived along with the police barricades, and that was the end of that. It took us more than ten minutes just to walk one block downtown on Columbus with Fiona in the stroller -- a mistake we never made again -- and pretty much took Eileen's party off our to-do list forevermore. At that was only 1998.
Here is a photo someone took of my mom's block last year.
I imagine someone -- someone staying in a hotel -- saying, "Ooh! Isn't that Shrek? What's he doing here, that big green silly! I can't believe I'm standing so close to greatness!"And now things are totally out of control. Shirra was blocked from passing thru one of the barricades because some rookie cop thought that she and the kids were just sightseers pretending to live on 81st Street. Direction-barkers are still making announcements to balloon workers at 11pm, and as I was putting the kids to bed in my old room (the one that faces the street), we could hear bands playing jaunty music to late-night revelers who came to watch -- oh, joy! -- the commingling of helium, painted rubber, and thousands of sandbags.
Breaking and Entering a Car (in order to rescue the inhabitants during an emergency)
This past Monday, we had a great fire fighter practice ("evolution" for those of you new to FF jargon). It involved using several tools including the Jaws of Life to open a car.
You first have to hook up the JoL to a portable generator about the size (and strength) of my car's engine; actually, this thing is a bit bigger, about the size of a fat briefcase. Clever, interchangeable cords allow quick swapping-out of various tools depending on whether you need to pry things open, smoosh them together, or cut them apart.
This is basically what the car will look like when the FFs are done with the extrication evolution. That's not our guys or the car we used -- I didn't get around to taking a photo of it -- but this picture gives you the basic idea.
One good point to make: Even tho the JoL is pretty easy to set up and is extremely effective, it's still better to try the car's doors first, just in case!
OK, that's a lame joke. Obviously that method doesn't work when people are trapped. In fact, as the photo shows, sometimes you actually have to cut away the roof and pry away the dashboard in order to extricate passengers. Cars these days are made to protect passengers by crumpling (relatively) safely around them. That's why modern cars involved in anything above a fender-bender are usually considered 'totaled'. This is still a lot better than the old days: The cars could withstand a solid impact, but the passengers didn't always look too good afterwards.
You first have to hook up the JoL to a portable generator about the size (and strength) of my car's engine; actually, this thing is a bit bigger, about the size of a fat briefcase. Clever, interchangeable cords allow quick swapping-out of various tools depending on whether you need to pry things open, smoosh them together, or cut them apart.
This is basically what the car will look like when the FFs are done with the extrication evolution. That's not our guys or the car we used -- I didn't get around to taking a photo of it -- but this picture gives you the basic idea.
One good point to make: Even tho the JoL is pretty easy to set up and is extremely effective, it's still better to try the car's doors first, just in case!
OK, that's a lame joke. Obviously that method doesn't work when people are trapped. In fact, as the photo shows, sometimes you actually have to cut away the roof and pry away the dashboard in order to extricate passengers. Cars these days are made to protect passengers by crumpling (relatively) safely around them. That's why modern cars involved in anything above a fender-bender are usually considered 'totaled'. This is still a lot better than the old days: The cars could withstand a solid impact, but the passengers didn't always look too good afterwards.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Spicy Prices
Short version: Don't buy spices at the supermarket if you have an alternative like a health food store.
Moral: Sometimes a cell phone pays for itself.
Shirra sent me on an errand just before Turkey Day. She wants to make a few pies before Thursday's festivities. On the list were four spices:
Nutmeg
Cloves
Ginger
Cinnamon
Stop 'N' Shop price for these four items: $35
This seemed a tad high -- nutmeg ain't cheap, but hey! -- so I gave Shirra a call. She suggested I try the health food store next door, the one with the odd sign. Is it "Healthy Nutrition"? "Health / Nutrition"? Maybe the carrot stands for an ampersand? Or perhaps it's just a carrot: "Health Carrot Nutrition".
Whatever the name, I like their prices. I bought what seemed like a fair amount of all four of the spices. Grand total: $1.47.
Moral: Sometimes a cell phone pays for itself.
Shirra sent me on an errand just before Turkey Day. She wants to make a few pies before Thursday's festivities. On the list were four spices:
Nutmeg
Cloves
Ginger
Cinnamon
Stop 'N' Shop price for these four items: $35
This seemed a tad high -- nutmeg ain't cheap, but hey! -- so I gave Shirra a call. She suggested I try the health food store next door, the one with the odd sign. Is it "Healthy Nutrition"? "Health / Nutrition"? Maybe the carrot stands for an ampersand? Or perhaps it's just a carrot: "Health Carrot Nutrition".
Whatever the name, I like their prices. I bought what seemed like a fair amount of all four of the spices. Grand total: $1.47.
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