How Many New Paltzers Does It Take to Screw in a Lightbulb?

Actually, the question should be: How Many Steps Does It Take...

Our house came with sconces outside of each door. We rarely use them. The front door sconce is easy to open, so when the bulbs blew last summer, it was a matter of minutes before they were replaced. The side door sconce is another story. In fact, it might as well be on another story, because changing the bulbs required a ladder. Strangely, it also required a vacuum cleaner.

I had been meaning to change these bulbs for some time, but last week I realized that it was going to be an involved process and that the process would involve daylight. I would have preferred a warm, sunny day, but I settled for 21 degrees and clouds.

It was only when I'd unscrewed the two screws atop the sconce that I noticed that there was bug detritus -- dead flies, eggs, wings -- all around the base of the bulbs. Simply replacing the bulbs might have led to a short circuit or other problems, so the situation called for a vacuum cleaner, meaning that I'd have to operate a vacuum from the top of a ladder that was resting on several inches of snow.

Normally, the changing of a lightbulb requires these steps:
1. Remove old bulb
2. Replace with new bulb

My operation was a bit more complex:

1. Acquire ladder from our nearby shed; place beside door
2. Grab screwdriver from kitchen shelf; place in pocket
3. Ascend ladder
4. Remove 2 screws from sconce

5. Place sconce on handrail of stairs
6. Remove bulbs
7. Descend ladder; discard old bulbs
8. Grab vacuum cleaner; reascend ladder
9. Remove doo-hickey around light fixture; vacuum. Repeat two more times

10. Descend ladder again; put down vacuum cleaner
11. Grab new bulbs; reascend ladder

12. Screw in new bulbs
13. Replace sconce top
14. Replace sconce screws
15. Replace ladder in shed
16. Replace vacuum cleaner in house.

Of course, because I couldn't even remember using this light, I had to check that it was working as soon as I'd replaced the first bulb, meaning that there were at least two more steps in this process. The above list is just a shorthand for my next bulb-changing.