Monday, December 10, 2007

Slip Slidin' Away

This morning my 11-year-old woke me up with the news that her mom's car was stuck in ice near the lake on our road. Ah, blissful sleep.

20 minutes later (I was slow to awaken) I was pushing our minivan uphill as Shirra gunned the engine. The problem with Honda's Odyssey models is that you really _can't_ gun their engines. They're programmed so that when you put the pedal to the medal, the wheels only turn slowly, never reaching even as fast as 50 mph. Apparently this is some kind of safety measure for when you're driving on icy roads, but when you're stuck on one, it's a real disadvantage. After about 40 minutes of pushing the car after applying sand on the road, we were back home.

Not surprisingly, school had been delayed for two hours due to icy conditions. My wife found this out a bit too late, and by that time, she was stuck half-way down our long hill. Since it took so long to get the car back home, I basically had to get back into my car just a half-hour later so that I could make a second attempt down the road. It was scary going, but we eventually got to Route 32 safely, and after that the trip was a cinch.

The rest of the day was just as eventful. I managed to get both of the other kids to their schools, but Maeve's preschool was only 90 minutes, and with the errands I had to run, it felt like I had to pick her up as soon as I'd dropped her off, and then I had to turn around and head into Manhattan. I saw two students, then rushed back into New Paltz for a mandatory but fairly useless fire fighter class. Shirra, meanwhile, had a great day at the store, where business has been brisk -- in some part due to the upcoming holidays. We were both able to get our cars back home safely, with some difficulty and trepidation. We'll definitely have to call that School Closing Hotline before leaving tomorrow!

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Gas Problem

When it comes to my car, I have a gas problem: I'm not gassy enough.

Today marked the 4th time in my life that I hv run out of gas, 3 of them in the past few months. I'd like to say that this time wasn't totally my fault, but of course it was.

TIME the FIRST
The first time happened when I was in college. I drovew a gas guzzler that my parents had insisted I buy, rather than a snazzier model, because it was so large that it might protect me in an accident. I'm not sure that this theory still makes sense. Nowadays, the only people who drive really long cars adorn the dashboards of their vehicles with photos of their grandkids. As for my car, a Ford Granada that I called "The Boat," I do know that the thing sucked down gasoline like a baby
takes to milk. Fortunately, when I did run out of gas, it was while I was on my way to the local 7-11...to get gas. I came up about a mile short and got a push the rest of the way from a nice man who was driving an even larger car. His dashboard was festooned with photos of his grandkids.

EPISODE #2
I was really good about keeping my car filled up for the next 20 years, but then we moved to New Paltz. I began making regular drives into Manhattan, and I realized that I could save about $6 a tankful if I fueled up in New Jersey, which happens to be part of the fastest route. This played right into my intense drive to save money (or to avoid wasting it, to be precise). Rather than filling up in New Paltz, I'd figure out if I could make it into Joisey; if not, I'd load up with no more than a few dollars' gas, just to avoid wasting that extra $4 or $5. Saving money brings me peace of mind, I guess.

But back in September, I was heading out of The City when the car seized up. I had just enough time to pull over before the engine stopped working. Amazingly, I ended up in an actual parking spot. The chance of this happening in Manhattan is right up there with the chance of Reese Witherspoon's character winning her lawsuit in Legally Blonde. If it hadn't happened to me, I might not have believed it. After pinching myself and then apologizing to the kids for the delay, I was able to unicycle to a nearby gas station and get the car back on the road in under 20 minutes.

THIRD TIME'S a CHARM
Last week, I started to feel that seizing sensation as the car ran out of gas just as I pulled into the first gas station in New Jersey. Based on what happened today, I now know that I had less than 1000 feet of 'wiggle room' before the car was totally immobile. I knew I was running low (correction: on fumes), but I kept my speed down to maximize gas milage and just hoped that I had enough to get to the station. Well, I pulled it off by .2 miles that time, but my calculations were off today!

FOURTH TIME'S NOT SO CHARMING
I forgot to fill up in New Paltz, and in fact, I passed the only gas station for the next 30 miles way back on Route 87 before finally remembering that I was really low on gas. I checked the gauge -- not the gas gauge, since that's broken, but the readout that tells me how much gas I've consumed since the last time I hit a certain button that my Aztek is equipped with -- and it told me that I had used 17.3 gallons since refueling. That suggested that I had about a gallon left. My calculations suggested that I could make it to the filling station about 20 miles away, and I slowed down more than usual in order to save gas. This was especially important because the car was struggling into a fierce headwind that cut my gas milage by about 20%. At mile marker 38 or so, I started to feel that sticky feeling as the car seized up, and even tho I 'should' have had enough gas to make it to the filling station, I knew that I had somehow run out. I pulled into the slow lane and then onto the shoulder and let the car glide until gravity and friction slowed it to a stop. It would not restart, but I thought I was close enough that I could run to the gas station and back rather than having to call Triple-A.

A half-mile of running in a fierce, chill wind, I finally came to the turn in the road where I expected to see the pumps not too far ahead. I saw nothing more than road, and that's when it became obvious that the gas station was close to where I had run out of gas only if one is moving 70 miles per hour at the time. I called Triple-A and began to deal with this debacle a second way.

AAA is great if you have car troubles and know exactly where you are, but they seem to lack even the most basic computerized navigation system like the GPS that my wife and I share. I told the operator that I was at mile marker 37.5 on the southbound side of Route 87 in New Jersey and expected her to say that she could see me on a satellite image like on the Show '24.' Instead she asked me what city I was in. City? In? I wasn't in a city. Aren't highways exempt from being IN cities? I thought that they were like the rivers of old, separating and skirting cities but never truly part of them. Apparently this is not the case, and a mere ten minutes later, she had located me on a map (I could hear the folding and unfolding). Another half-hour later a state trooper arrived, and I thought I was thru with my hiccup, but instead, he merely informed me that a gas truck (actually a tow truck) was on its way in about ten more minutes. I'm not sure why a trooper had to ascertain that I was out of gas before calling for the tow truck, and I'm also not sure why troopers don't just carry a gallon of gas.

Amazingly I made it to Manhattan in time for my first student. I even found an ideal parking spot and did some last-minute Hanukkah shopping before our session. So, did I learn my lesson? I'm not so sure.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Happy Turkey Day!

Tho I live in New Paltz, I still have a foot Manhattan, thanks to my mom's apartment, and we spent a wonderful Thanksgiving there.

We drove down Wednesday morning after meeting with Emmett's teacher for a great report on our son. We'd planned a busy day, managing to squeeze in two grandmothers, two haircuts (for the girls), a mile-long unicycle ride for me and Emmett, and three tutoring students -- and that was just the first four hours. By 5 pm, the crowds around 81st St. were beginning to get pretty thick, and by that point, the police had begun keeping out people who couldn't claim to live (or be visiting someone) on my mom's block. This basically means that the police are there to keep out the tourists, since New Yorkers know that a simple lie will get them that much closer to a giant Kermit the Frog.

We learned two years ago to avoid Columbus Avenue like the plague. For about 7 hours, crowds mill about there in density matched only by the people who swarm off tourist buses to stand outside of the Today Show with their signs promoting their high school basketball team back in Idaho. I didn't realize at the time, but what happened is that the police department decided to turn Columbus Avenue from 77th to 82nd Streets into a huge cattle drive. Once you're in the slow-moving stampede, you really can't get out until you get to the other side. I accidentally got caught up in this back in 2005 while riding (and eventually pushing) my 36" unicycle and carrying some groceries that Shirra had asked me to pick up on the way home; the 10-block trip took me about a half-hour. This year, we knew enough to take Amsterdam Avenue when we were walking down to a friend's party, and the experience was much more pleasant.

The kids had fun watching the balloons being inflated. I learned recently that Macy*s has had to stockpile helium because of a worldwide shortage of the stuff (driving prices higher and higher, as tho they, too, were filled with helium). The kids didn't care too much about this lesson in economics but were more interested in which characters were on display and how big they were. Because I was working, Shirra took the kids outside for some cute snaps as they watched the balloons being inflated. On Thanksgiving morning, she and my mom took them outside to watch the inflatable cavalcade disappear around the corner as the parade began.

By noon, the remnants of the balloons had all but vanished, and order -- and parking -- were restored to my mom's block. Emmet and I fetched the car from a mile away, again necessitating a fun ride on our unicycles, and then rode over to Zabar's and back for some humidifiers. Four hours later, we sat down to our Thanksgiving meal with our parents, my brother and his wife, and my mom's best friend. Maeve was the only member of my little family who still eats meat, and apparently she enjoyed the turkey, and the rest of us enjoyed all of the fixings. The meal had been delivered by Fresh Direct, an outfit that has brought meals (or groceries) to New Yorkers for the past few years and is one of the few things that Shirra genuinely misses about Manhattan.

Shirra left for New Paltz on a bus that evening in order to be at her store for a huge shopping day on Friday, and the kids and I arrived home by 3pm. It was a fun and easy holiday for everyone. Phew. Now we have Hanukah to look forward to -- I hope it comes off as well.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The Knitting Store is Open!

Knit and Be Happy has officially opened for business! The grand opening is slated for December 1, but the petit opening this past Saturday went off without a hitch or a dropped stitch.

Shirra has hired two (now three) helpers for the store, and I got to meet all of them. Nancy, a brilliant scientist who is waiting for her masters program in design to begin, is one of those funky women who reminds me of a younger Shirra. She's a knitting wiz, and she's also into climbing and sci-fi. She has a great eye for setting up shop and helped create the initial look of the store. Susie is Shirra's mom away from mom, a lovely woman who made sure that Shirra was getting enough to eat when she was setting up the store a few days ago. Cricket is a young woman with unbridled enthusiasm and a knack for reading 'Help Wanted' signs before they're even posted. She's another inveterate knitter with lots of cool ideas for the store.

Speaking of which, Shirra and I had already brainstormed just before the store was open for business, and we came up with some good ideas:

1. Frequent buyer program: Shirra will keep track of purchases and will award a $15 store credit when someone spends a total of $150.
2. Gift certificates! With the holidays coming, these are a great idea that neither of us came up with (as obvious as it seems now). Luckily a man came in asking to buy a GC for his wife, thereby launching the program by himself.
3. Wall of Extreme Knitting: Shirra will put up people's photos of themselves engaged in acts of extreme knitting. Cricket has already volunteered to get a shot of herself knitting while rock-climbing, and Shirra has a great photo of herself knitting while riding a unicycle.
4. Movie nights. Keep checking back here, and keep checking her blog!
5. Men's Night. There is a book called "Knitting with Balls" for men. Now I just need to learn to knit....
6. After-school programs.

So far the response to her store has been excellent, and it looks like she's actually going to have to be open six days a week rather than five. The petit opening was a great idea because it's letting her see what's working ... and what's not. She learned today that she has to fix some problems with her Verizon hookup so that she can process credit cards, and there are a few other minor glitches that she's busy correcting. She also needs to get a sign to hang up so that her store is more visible from Main Street.

Emmett has been really sweet, handing out flyers to passers-by. He takes after me, always wanting to work retail. So does Fiona, for that matter: She made an announcement at her school about her mom's new shop. And I put up a notice about the shop at Maeve's preschool, so she's doing her share, too.

Once again, here are the pertinents:
Knit and Be Happy
8 N. Front St
New Paltz, NY 12561
845.255.5333
11-6 everyday except Tuesday; hours subject to be extended!

Friday, November 09, 2007

Parking Ticket!

I got my first parking ticket in the Noop this week. I had parked outside my wife's store, helping her paint before the 'soft opening' this Saturday, and I got carried away with all the fun of putting on primer. When I finally went back to the car, more time had elapsed than I'd expected. The meter time was flashing 00:00 and, I gamely peeked at the windshield, not expecting to find anything orange other than some fall leaves. But there, under the windshield wiper, was a small rectangle that I'd only seen on other people's cars -- a ticket!

One of the lovely things about New Paltz and most of the neighboring towns is the 'cute' cost of the tickets. Whereas tickets in Manhattan can be as high as $110 for a similar expense, in our new hometown, they're only ten smackers. I can handle that.

Still, I felt like a bit of a dope considering how plentiful parking is in the area near her store. I could easily have found a spot on Church St. To make matters (ok, me) stupider, I could also have run outside 15 minutes earlier with a quarter that would have stood me in good stead for an hour. Yes, city mice, a quarter in New Paltz gets you a whole hour. In Manhattan, it usually only gets you 10 minutes!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Peaceful Drivers

I've often used this forum to discuss the differences between New Paltz and New York. Now I've discovered a difference between New Paltz and some local towns. It has to do with waving at drivers.

One Finger
We all know that when drivers let you into drive in front of them, you're supposed to wave to show that you appreciate their courtesy. Since there is little such kindness in NYC, it often happens that you have to be aggressive, edging in front of the next car so that they're forced to let you in. In that case, I still give a friendly (ok, sarcastic) wave, but I often get a one-finger wave in return.

Five Fingers
In up-city New York, drivers are much more courteous. I'm usually let into the queue after only a short wait, and I usually let people into the queue whenever I see them waiting. Invariably I get the full-hand wave and a smile. That's like a visual thank-you. But New Paltz is taking that one step farther.

Two Fingers
In the Noop this morning, I was on my way back from casting my vote when I spotted a car waiting to turn into my lane. I let him enter, and he smiled and gave me the peace sign. I like that. It's even cooler than the wave. It's a visual way of saying thank you and go in peace. I'm going to start doing that.

Peace out.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Knitting Store in Knew Paltz

OK, New Paltz. Get ready for your knitting store!

Shirra is hoping to have a 'soft' opening this Thursday. Everyone's invited. The 'grand' opening is a few weeks off. Everyone is invited to that, too (we'll keep you posted).

To check if she's open, call (845) 255-5333. Her tentative sked is: Everyday but Tues and Weds, 11-6.

I think that's correct. She also has a website for her store, Knit and Be Happy. Check out my links.

Enjoy!

UPDATE: She is open for business! And she's added a day: She's now open everyday but Tuesdays, 11-6 (and she often opens before 11). Come on by!

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Awards Night at Pine Ridge Dude Ranch

Fiona had an equestrian awards night at the Pine Ridge Dude Ranch on Sunday, sponsored by her stable, Lucky C. It was a fun affair, with good food, fun things for the kids and parents to do, and a lovely dinner following the fast presentation of the awards. Fiona was 'reserve champion' for her division, so she got a huge ribbon and chose a Lucky C bag as a prize. After the grub, we headed down the stairs to their disco, where the kids danced to "Cotton-Eye Joe" and other fun tunes, and everyone had a ball. I definitely recommend this place for a fun evening, and I understand that people have a nice time staying there for weekends and longer.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Hike-a to the Ike-a

Shirra's store came with a few included items, like a counter for her cash register, but we've had to provide for pretty much everything else. So today we took a that long but necessary trip to Ikea.

To make matters worse, the nearer of the two Ikeas (both in New Jersey) was out of some of the shelving units that she wanted. Ikea Paramus also didn't have a bunk bed that we'd planned to get for our house, but Ikea Elizabeth did. Luckily Maeve fell asleep for the entire ride there, so we got to listen to a funny podcast of "This American Life." That was pretty much our only entertainment for the next six hours. It didn't help that we had to drive there thru pouring rain.

Once there, we knew exactly what we wanted, but because Ikea Elizabeth is smaller than its Paramus counterpart, we were slowed down by nearly an hour. At this Ikea, you have to place orders for their warehouse for certain items, and then those items are summoned forth from the unknown depths of the store. We were further delayed because we'd promised to take Maeve to the Ball Pit, but at least she got to have some fun at the store, and she was quite relaxed for the trip home, having gotten some exercise at the store.

The next step was to pack up the car, which was made more challenging by the fact that we'd forgotten to empty the car of certain items, like Emmett's unnecessary car seat and a boxful of books that Shirra was planning to take to the library at some point. In the end, it just made for a better photo. Had any of the boxes been an inch longer, it's doubtful we'd have been able to fit them into the minivan; we'd have had to place them on top of the car instead, something I was really glad we avoided. Back in New Paltz, we unloaded the boxes and pretty much had to go right into get-ready-for-bed mode. It doesn't feel like I've had a Saturday. Someone owes me a Saturday!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Opening a Store in New Paltz



















Shirra is opening a knitting store in a week!

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
First there was getting a store. Initially Shirra looked at the place next to the bookstore on Chuch Street. That's a great location, but the shop is literally twice as large (and about twice the price) as what she needed, so she decided to look into the former antique store just down the block. It's a great spot that just needed a little touching up. The kids made signs to announce the impending opening.

MOLD, MOLD, MOLD
One of the touch-ups involved dealing with mold in the store. We still don't know the source of the water, but her landlord was great about trying to deal with the situation, volunteering to rip out the old (and stained) ceiling tiles and to take other measures. At this point, it appears that the mold has been taken care of, tho there may still be moisture. We'll see how it goes in the next few days.

YARN, YARN, YARN
Shirra had to place a few orders, naturally, and our house is now crammed with about 6 cubic yards of wool and a few wicker chairs that she found locally. When the moisture problem is under control, we'll move those things in, but for the last few days we've been living the old joke about the man who tells the rabbi that his house is too cramped and noisy and the rabbi tells him to bring in the chickens. Right now we're past the chickens and goats and are about to invite in the horse. Still, the kids and I don't mind -- we've lived like this before.

PINS and NEEDLES
Well, she really doesn't need pins (this isn't a quilting store), but she is about to order needles as well as some tchotchkes. Let's hope those don't have to stay in our house, too. Those might be the horse. I have a feeling that when we can finally move everything out of our house, it'll be just as the good rabbi said: really spacious.

The name of her store: Knit and Be Happy

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Diversity Day in the Noop


Today was Diversity Day in New Paltz, so naturally Emmett and Maeve were wearing hula skirts and cut-out cardboard stars while shouting lines from a Doctor Seuss book.

The hula skirts were a close approximation of the Sneetch fur, but the director/costumer/stage manager Rachel had correctly surmised that the audience would not pick nits about any aspect of the production. The actors ranged in age from 3 (Maeve) to 11 (one of Fiona's classmates from last year), and amazingly, some of the kids had actually studied their lines ahead of time. More impressive still was that the cast actually listened to me when I suggested during our 'dress rehearsal' that they speak loudly and slowly.

The audience seemed miniscule until just moments till the proverbial curtain went up, but all of a sudden there were a hundred spectators. The narrator, older brother of one of Maeve's classmates, did a superb job, enunciating loud and clear and, for a reason I have yet to learn, using a mid-Atlantic accent he does not normally speak with.

Still, my two had their most fun at the Bouncy Castle, the inflatable tent that, if positioned correctly in Manhattan, would be a $2 million studio in today's market. The three of us -- Fiona and Shirra were at a sheep & wool show, not buying some rabbits -- watched the inflation and Maeve and Emmett, always courageous in the face of strangers if those strangers have stuff they want, asked if they could start bouncing even tho the tent wasn't officially (who are these officials?) supposed to be open for over an hour. Instead, they were greenlighted for the castle, moments later a few other kids joined in the fun. All together I'd estimate that they bounced for over 40 minutes, explaining why Maeve fell asleep so easily when it was nap time an hour later.

I should point out that there was more to Diversity Day than Sneetches and an inflated rubber room. All around the 'stage' were tables featuring local groups who represented many aspects of faith and philosophy. I spoke with a representative from the Ulster County Humanists who was seated between a gang of Pagans and a coterie of bible thumpers. Not far away was an ROTC table situated near a group asking for Bush's impeachment. It was lovely to see everyone getting along so well, tho not surprising for New Paltz. We did have our reasons for moving here, after all, and diversity was one of them.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

New Post "Up"

Check out my most recent NPFD blog to read all about fire prevention week and how to scare large numbers of toddlers.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Nose Updates

I have some updates that you might enjoy at my other blog. Click here if you'd like to find out more (disgusting) information about my nose.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Deviated Septum

"How to Move to New Paltz" will not be seen tonight because I'm recovering from surgery. It wasn't truly New Paltz-related, but I did write about it on my unicycle blog as well as on my Voice of Society Man blog.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

One Nice Thing about Manhattan

Ok, I can live without the smog and noise, but I do enjoy seeing celebreties.

On Saturday, I was waiting for Shirra to bring the kids down the block to where I had parked when I spotted Laurie Berkner. Laurie is perhaps the most popular singer of children's music these days, judged by her connection with cable TV's Noggin, where she's seen in various capacities thruout the day. As it happens, we knew her when: Back in 2000, she performed at Fiona's 4th birthday, and in the next two years, she played at two more parties; the final one she did as a favor, coming out to Brooklyn for what would be her last private gig of the sort. We've been big Laurie fans, so Maeve has gotten to enjoy her music even without getting to see her live... until Saturday. While I reintroduced myself to Laurie and her bandmate Susie, Shirra and the kids appeared. Maeve's reaction was to hold her hands in front of her huge grin, much as Shirra did years ago when she met her favorite baseball player, Dave Winfield, on our 1990 trip to see the Chicago White Sox at old Comiskey Park. Winfield chatted with us for a bit and then posed for a picture with his arm around Shirra. Her only word for about 90 minutes was 'Omigod.' Maeve managed to say hello and chat amiably despite her obvious glee.


Yesterday I was shopping for some cycling stuff in advance of the unicycle race I'm participating next summer. While in the store, I noticed Matthew Broderick enter with a very nice bike that he needed to drop off for a friend. We got to chatting -- about my geared unicycle and other unicycle-related things -- and ended up talking for about 20-30 minutes. It was nice to see what a down-to-earth guy he is, and I'm sure he appreciated my relative normalcy; that is, I didn't ask for an autograph or any other nod to his fame. I'm like that, in part, because of growing up in a city inhabited and visited by so many superluminaries. It's still fun to spot -- or chat with -- a famous person, but after awhile, you get the feeling that it's an everyday occurrence.


I've always joked about the fact that people stare at me when I unicycle down the street, and that goes for celebs. So when I've crossed paths with someone famous, I have always joked not that I saw so-and-so but that so-and-so saw ME. The list of stars who have seen me unicycle includes David Bowie and Iman, Mick Jagger, the late Tony Randal (who used to live on my mom's block), Billy Baldwin and Chyna Phillips (who used to live in my mom's building), and a few others. Oh, and Bill Clinton (in Martha's Vineyard). I like to think that they go home to their significant others and say, "You'll never guess ...."