It's all about funny observations I've made as a unicyclist for the past 27 years.
It's the unicyclinganthropologist.blogspot.com, but you can just click on my top link on the right.
Enjoy!
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Monday, June 04, 2007
The High Cost of Guinea Pigs
Anyone contemplating the purchase of guinea pigs, hamsters, mice, rats, or (in our case) a hedgehog should consider the surprising costs associated with keeping a happy and healthy caged rodent in a house or apartment that does not smell like the monkey cage in a bad zoo.
We first caved in to our daughter's request for a guinea pig. But guinea pigs are communal, so we agreed to buy two. Later, our son wanted one, but guinea pigs are communal, so we had to buy two more, only he really wanted a female one, so we ended up with five. During this period, we also found ourselves with a hamster and two mice, but because of their small size, they don't account for too much of the expense except for a few vet visits and the initial costs of their cages. No, the main
expense associated with guinea pigs is their bedding.
Because they are not easily litter trained, they basically pee and poop where they eat, only with some discretion. That is, they usually leave one corner of the cage as their designated toilet, but they're not perfect, so turds end up pretty much all over. This is especially true of younger guinea pigs on account of their skittishness. As Johnny Cochrane might have said, if you say boo, they will poo.
Cage-lining material comes in a variety of colors and styles. Why anyone would want green-dyed fluff in a guinea pig cage is beyond me. It's not only ugly but is also dangerous for the pets on account of the chemicals. So we stick with the untreated stuff. Purchased at the local Agway, it's about $25 for a large bag. Thankfully, they only had the dyed versions, so I drove to a PetSmart in Kingston, and it was well worth the trip. They charge less than $20 for a large bag and also have a discount card. Nonetheless, it turns out that we're spending about $100 a month to keep the piggies in fresh cages, which comes to about
$240 per guinea pig per year.
Food is less pricy by far. I'd guess we spend no more than $200 a year for our brood, or about $40 a year per pig. And they love your leftover carrots and celery, so that healthy part of their diet is practically free.
Vet visits are not essential, and even when they are, some owners will neglect their responsibilities. We try to do right by our pets, and I'd guess $20 a year would seem a good guess, on average.
Here is the breakdown:
Startup costs: $75 (piggy, cage, toys)
Food, annual: $40-80
Vet: $20
Bedding: $240
Total = $300-340 per year. PER GUINEA PIG!
We first caved in to our daughter's request for a guinea pig. But guinea pigs are communal, so we agreed to buy two. Later, our son wanted one, but guinea pigs are communal, so we had to buy two more, only he really wanted a female one, so we ended up with five. During this period, we also found ourselves with a hamster and two mice, but because of their small size, they don't account for too much of the expense except for a few vet visits and the initial costs of their cages. No, the main
expense associated with guinea pigs is their bedding.
Because they are not easily litter trained, they basically pee and poop where they eat, only with some discretion. That is, they usually leave one corner of the cage as their designated toilet, but they're not perfect, so turds end up pretty much all over. This is especially true of younger guinea pigs on account of their skittishness. As Johnny Cochrane might have said, if you say boo, they will poo.
Cage-lining material comes in a variety of colors and styles. Why anyone would want green-dyed fluff in a guinea pig cage is beyond me. It's not only ugly but is also dangerous for the pets on account of the chemicals. So we stick with the untreated stuff. Purchased at the local Agway, it's about $25 for a large bag. Thankfully, they only had the dyed versions, so I drove to a PetSmart in Kingston, and it was well worth the trip. They charge less than $20 for a large bag and also have a discount card. Nonetheless, it turns out that we're spending about $100 a month to keep the piggies in fresh cages, which comes to about
$240 per guinea pig per year.
Food is less pricy by far. I'd guess we spend no more than $200 a year for our brood, or about $40 a year per pig. And they love your leftover carrots and celery, so that healthy part of their diet is practically free.
Vet visits are not essential, and even when they are, some owners will neglect their responsibilities. We try to do right by our pets, and I'd guess $20 a year would seem a good guess, on average.
Here is the breakdown:
Startup costs: $75 (piggy, cage, toys)
Food, annual: $40-80
Vet: $20
Bedding: $240
Total = $300-340 per year. PER GUINEA PIG!
Thursday, May 31, 2007
What to Be When You Grow Up
We have a wonderful pediatrician who is part of our wonderful family practice here in New Paltz. Our little Maeve recently went in for a visit due to her stuffy nose. Dr Saied took time to get to know her, asking her questions not only about her ailments but also about her family and herself. I loved Maeve's response to one of his questions:
Dr S: What are you going to be when you grow up?
Maeve: Bigger!
Dr S: What are you going to be when you grow up?
Maeve: Bigger!
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Cel Phone Jammer
People talk unnecessarily on their mobiles. Usually they only need to speak for 15-30 seconds but end up talking for a minute or two. I'm going to be a cel phone jammer.
I just need to select the ideal flavor. I think that orange marmalade will work best because so few people like it.
Smearing a bit of marmalade on somebody's cel phone would probably keep them from talking on it for at least a few minutes.
I must put orange marmalade jam on the shopping list.
I just need to select the ideal flavor. I think that orange marmalade will work best because so few people like it.
Smearing a bit of marmalade on somebody's cel phone would probably keep them from talking on it for at least a few minutes.
I must put orange marmalade jam on the shopping list.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Why I was Running Late
The bus driver announced that we'd be delayed in our trip to Manhattan today. I figured this was on account of Memorial Day traffic, but nope: Rubbernecking. The south side of 87 was moving slowly, but at least we were moving. I noticed that the other side of the road seemed pretty smooth sailing; in fact, there was almost no northbound traffic. Then we found out why: There had been a truck crash, and the firemen and other rescuers had closed off all three lanes of the highway. South of that, the highway was at a virtual standstill. My bus was only 30 minutes late, but the people heading north might have been there for a bit longer.
I Moved a Turtle
As I drove up the road home today, I came across a turtle. Luckily for him I wasn't looking at him in my rearview mirror.
I had a hunch that he was a bit lost; he was walking parallel to the bank of the pond rather than towards it. Worse yet, of course, was that he was heading across a dirt road under the noontime sun.
I stopped the car and got out. I had to decide whether to place him ten feet forward or to move him three feet back, where he was coming from. I decided to move him forward, so I picked him up and moved him into the woods. This was the first time I'd ever held a turtle. But then I reconsidered. My guess is that he would eventually want to come back, and that would double his risk. So I put him back where he'd come from, but as I did so, some water tipped out of his shell. My lack of turtle-holding was showing. Happily for both of us, there was a large puddle nearby, so I poured a bit over the turtle and his new (old) surroundings and sent him on his way. Slowly.
Friday, May 25, 2007
What to Do on a Sunny Day in New Paltz
It's noon in the Noop. Maeve is taking a nap. So is Stanky, for that matter. Maeve will stop taking afternoon naps in a few months, but Stanky will take a few naps everyday for the rest of his life.
When he first moved to the house, he spent a few days getting acclimated to his new digs. He is rather small, even for a cat, and he's always been indoors, so it's not like he's had to defend his territory. In fact, during his 14 years, he's outlived 3 other cats (not including one who lived with us for a disharmonious year), and he's always been the lowest head on the totem pole, so you'd think that when it came to his over-all behavior, he'd be, well, a pussycat. But no. As soon as his surroundings change, he gets very upset. When we take him to the vet, he sometimes has to be sedated. A trip to the vet means bringing, at the very least, a strong cat-carrier, a few towels (one to put over his head when the vet wants to examine the rest of him), and some Band-Aids.
When people come to visit, he's a bit shy but is never mean. He eventually rubs legs and otherwise hangs out with us, unless the strangers have kids of their own. In that case, he'll usually avoid everyone; he'd rather not take chances.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Trashy Information
When we moved here, one of the first things we had to look into was: what to do with our garbage!
It's not that we have more garbage than most people -- we don't, really -- but we had a ton of boxes left over from the move, natch, and the little garbage we did have was threatening to smell. It didn't help that we didn't have garbage bins; animals were scavenging thru the bags we'd left out thru our own naivete.
Well, it turns out that if you live off the main road, you can have your trash picked up by one of the garbage companies, like Waste Management. But where we live, people have to take their refuse to the town dump. I'd never been to a dump before, so I was excited about the prospect. It's always good to be excited about something like that.
The dump, luckily for us, is only a quarter-mile from us, and luckier still is the fact that the smell has never made it to our house. One time just after we'd moved here, I went for a gadabout thru the woods and ended up getting a bit lost. I found some power lines, followed them, and came out at the dump. The smell hadn't given up its position. That's a good thing.
Phil runs the dump and is a wonderful guy. He always has a smile, especially for little Maeve, who loves to see him. Phil explained that townees pay $30 for a ten-ticket booklet; each ticket buys dumping rights for one large garbage bag (32 or 35 gallons).
Recycling items are free to drop off and are sorted into 4 different varieties, so there is a lot of recycling going on, which I approve of heartily. It bothers me, however, that lots of people leave their cars running while they drop off their cardboard and newspaper for recycling -- kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it, if you're helping the environment while hurting it?
One of the cool things about the dump is the chance to go rummaging thru the discarded metal stuff. We got these nifty signs there for free! I'm also looking forward to grabbing some cool items for a unicycle trials course.
Happy diving!
Happy but Surprising Update on the Linkerpink
You may have read earlier this month about an injury sustained by my left pinkie (or 'linkerpink,' in Dutch) during a bout of unicycle sumo. Well, the pain had persisted for over a month, and I was beginning to wonder if I should see a hand specialist (known as a 'hand surgeon' among those in the know).
Well, a few days ago, I was packing things up after another uni club (!) when I accidentally smacked my linkerpink against the car. Of course, it hurt initially, but in seconds I realized that this little yank was not like the other. Suddenly, my finger felt better. Hmmm.
By coincidence, I had an appointment yesterday with a foot doctor (or 'podiatrist' -- why isn't a hand surgeon called a manologist?). She confirmed that a swift tug of the same digit could improve the situation: Apparently something called the capsule (the thing you 'crack' when you crack your knuckles) had gotten stuck under part of that pinkie, and the sudden yank of that finger freed what was trapped beneath. Yay.
So if you develop a sore joint, just give me a holler and I'll give it a tug.
Well, a few days ago, I was packing things up after another uni club (!) when I accidentally smacked my linkerpink against the car. Of course, it hurt initially, but in seconds I realized that this little yank was not like the other. Suddenly, my finger felt better. Hmmm.
By coincidence, I had an appointment yesterday with a foot doctor (or 'podiatrist' -- why isn't a hand surgeon called a manologist?). She confirmed that a swift tug of the same digit could improve the situation: Apparently something called the capsule (the thing you 'crack' when you crack your knuckles) had gotten stuck under part of that pinkie, and the sudden yank of that finger freed what was trapped beneath. Yay.
So if you develop a sore joint, just give me a holler and I'll give it a tug.
Monday, May 21, 2007
I LOVE YOUR COMMENTS
And just the fact that I have a few readers.
But I'm curious about how many I have. Most, I'd guess, are Noopers, but I'm hoping to attract people considering a move to New Paltz. That's why I started the blog -- I didn't see another like it and felt a void. Now I write mainly because it's fun and is also a good way to document intricacies of life in the Paltz.
So...
Hello (hello, hello)
Is there anybody out there?
Just nod (or comment) if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at all?
But I'm curious about how many I have. Most, I'd guess, are Noopers, but I'm hoping to attract people considering a move to New Paltz. That's why I started the blog -- I didn't see another like it and felt a void. Now I write mainly because it's fun and is also a good way to document intricacies of life in the Paltz.
So...
Hello (hello, hello)
Is there anybody out there?
Just nod (or comment) if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at all?
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Local Obits
One of the odd things I noticed in the local papers as soon as we moved here was a difference in their style of obituary-writing.
The New York Times (and also, I think, the Post and the News) have a pretty straight-forward template:
"Joe Schmoe, a frequent contributor to Technology Magazine, died Monday night following a protracted battle with cancer. He was 69." The article then goes on to recount highlights of Schmoe's life and to mention any family members.
Seems pretty simple, right?
Here are a few entries from a recent copy of the Po'town Journal, names and ages changed out of respect for the dead people's lawyers:
Jill Reagle, 71, of LaGrange, NY, died at home on Wednesday, May 16, 2007.
Bobbi Peak, 21, a lifelong resident of Middletown, NY, died unexpectedly on Saturday, May 18, 2007.
In each case, the obit describes accomplishments and affiliations of the deceased, and in almost every way, each write-up appears similar to the kind found in the NYC papers. The glaring difference is that the local papers almost never mention cause of death.
Wanting to know the cause of death in an obituary is a bit like rubbernecking past an accident scene. It's the reader's chance to see what did in some other rat in this neverending maze that always ends too soon. In the case of a 71-year-old, we can guess that the person died of heart disease or cancer. But with a 21-year-old, you really want to slow down and get a better look at that wreck. Your first impulse is to make guesses based on clues in the rest of the obit. Last week I read about the death of a young man who was a parachuting enthusiast. I figured that maybe he'd had a problem with his chute, but I decided to Google him anyway. Nope; he'd been driving without a seatbelt and was thrown from his car after hitting a guard rail. He wasn't drunk, but he wasn't smart enough to wear a seat belt, either. I don't see a problem with adding a phrase about cause of death, do you? It might even serve as a reminder to readers who are lax with a seatbelt or cigaret.
There was one PoJo obit recently that made me laugh:
Flo Rivers, 90, of High Falls, NY, died unexpectedly in her nursing home....
Sorry, but 90-year-olds don't die unexpectedly any more than green lights turn red unexpectedly.
I think it's time to do in the obituary-writer of the Poughkeepsie Journal. I'd kill for that job.
The New York Times (and also, I think, the Post and the News) have a pretty straight-forward template:
"Joe Schmoe, a frequent contributor to Technology Magazine, died Monday night following a protracted battle with cancer. He was 69." The article then goes on to recount highlights of Schmoe's life and to mention any family members.
Seems pretty simple, right?
Here are a few entries from a recent copy of the Po'town Journal, names and ages changed out of respect for the dead people's lawyers:
Jill Reagle, 71, of LaGrange, NY, died at home on Wednesday, May 16, 2007.
Bobbi Peak, 21, a lifelong resident of Middletown, NY, died unexpectedly on Saturday, May 18, 2007.
In each case, the obit describes accomplishments and affiliations of the deceased, and in almost every way, each write-up appears similar to the kind found in the NYC papers. The glaring difference is that the local papers almost never mention cause of death.
Wanting to know the cause of death in an obituary is a bit like rubbernecking past an accident scene. It's the reader's chance to see what did in some other rat in this neverending maze that always ends too soon. In the case of a 71-year-old, we can guess that the person died of heart disease or cancer. But with a 21-year-old, you really want to slow down and get a better look at that wreck. Your first impulse is to make guesses based on clues in the rest of the obit. Last week I read about the death of a young man who was a parachuting enthusiast. I figured that maybe he'd had a problem with his chute, but I decided to Google him anyway. Nope; he'd been driving without a seatbelt and was thrown from his car after hitting a guard rail. He wasn't drunk, but he wasn't smart enough to wear a seat belt, either. I don't see a problem with adding a phrase about cause of death, do you? It might even serve as a reminder to readers who are lax with a seatbelt or cigaret.
There was one PoJo obit recently that made me laugh:
Flo Rivers, 90, of High Falls, NY, died unexpectedly in her nursing home....
Sorry, but 90-year-olds don't die unexpectedly any more than green lights turn red unexpectedly.
I think it's time to do in the obituary-writer of the Poughkeepsie Journal. I'd kill for that job.
I Honked in Anger
Since moving to New Paltz, Shirra and I have noticed that we rarely encounter aggressive drivers, a marked change from our lives in Manhattan and Brooklyn. This no doubt contributes to our general low level of stress and high level of happiness. Sometimes we find ourselves behind poor drivers like the ones who practically need a written invitation before making a left turn across Main Street, but this type of behavior is understandable: Not everyone is accustomed to having to make split-second decisions in a car. In NYC, you need to do this on a minute-by-minute basis, but in the Noop, it's rare to have to do that more than a few times a day. When I find myself waiting behind a slow turner in the Village, I usually wait patiently, but occasionally I'll deliver a brief toot of the horn as a reminder that I'd like to move, too, and that perhaps the driver should check again for that inviation. Until last week, however, I'd never honked angrily at anyone in New Paltz.
It happened as I drove down Rte 32 N heading towards the Village. A woman in a minivan suddenly pulled into my lane heading in the same direction. She forced me to slow down precipitously, and had I been distracted before she made her move, there is a good chance I would have smashed into her rear bumper. Most annoying of all was the fact that there was no car behind me for a mile. She should have just waited for me to pass. This sort of thing bothers me not only because she nearly caused an accident but because she forced me to slow down and then speed up again, a waste of gas. I'm really hyper about saving gas these days, tree-hugger that I am, and anytime I have to use the brake and then accelerate again, I know that I've wasted gas. That woman is bad for the environment. HONK!
It happened as I drove down Rte 32 N heading towards the Village. A woman in a minivan suddenly pulled into my lane heading in the same direction. She forced me to slow down precipitously, and had I been distracted before she made her move, there is a good chance I would have smashed into her rear bumper. Most annoying of all was the fact that there was no car behind me for a mile. She should have just waited for me to pass. This sort of thing bothers me not only because she nearly caused an accident but because she forced me to slow down and then speed up again, a waste of gas. I'm really hyper about saving gas these days, tree-hugger that I am, and anytime I have to use the brake and then accelerate again, I know that I've wasted gas. That woman is bad for the environment. HONK!
Off to the Movies
One of the boasting points about New Paltz is that it has its own movie theater featuring four screens. For a town of our size, a movie theater is a big plus, and it's great to have four movies to choose from (unless Spiderman 3 is showing on two screens at once). There is a theater in nearby Rosendale that seems to specialize in funkier films, but we haven't made it there yet. Rhinebeck's theater (Upstate) specializes in offbeat or indie films as well as foreign pictures. And there's always the South Hills Mall or the Galleria if you need to spend twice as much on a movie.
NEW PALTZ CINEMA
General Info
Ample parking day or night. The 4 screening rooms are medium in size, and there are at least 2 showings of each film per day (usually around 7 and 9 pm, with more showings on the weekend). Buying in bulk enables you to see movies for $4 a person. The downside to this theater is also its upside: Because it's in town, it's easy to get to, but that also means that an overabundance of tweens and teens can easily ruin your experience. This was the case a few months ago when I took the kids to "Happy Feet" and a popcorn fight erupted among rival groups of middle schoolers. It's always nice, on the other hand, to run into friends there. On the whole, I'd rate the audience factor a solid 6 out of 10.
Films
They generally show popular films and seem to make a good attempt to balance the ratings so that there is usually a G or PG film on at least one screen. According to some locals we spoke to, there was a recent brouhaha when the homophobic owners refused to show "Brokeback Mountain." I can't vouch for this, and it seems strange behavior in such a liberal-minded locale, but I heard this from more than one person. I'd rate the films another 6.
Fare
Their food (too strong a word, really) is the usual crap found at mall theaters and other large venues. There is nothing New Paltz about the overpriced grub on hand (Raisinettes, etc), but the good news is that they're a minute's walk from a large health food store. Of course, you're not supposed to bring in outside food, but that doesn't stop those of us who try to avoid high fructose corn syrup. For less than the price of those Jujubees, I can sneak in some chocolate covered ginger pieces. This theater could easily spruce up its image by selling homemade cookies and lemonade. The garbage they sell would earn them a 0 for health, but a 5 for variety; however, I'd factor in a 10 for proximity to decent alternatives (ie, the health food store down the block) for an overall 5.
Final score: 5.67 out of 10
RHINEBECK's UPSTATE FILMS
General Info
For Noopers, the place is a bit of a hike, but it's worth it. It can be hard to find a nearby parking spot in a hurry, and it helps to get to the theater early to avoid missing out on the show you want to see (as happened to us once), but membership ($60 a year) has its privileges, and one of them is reduced-price admission ($4 or $5 per film -- I can't recall). The theater has a lovely old feeling to it, like you're stepping into a library mixed with an off-Broadway play. The screening rooms have ample seats, but because the films are offbeat, each showing tends to be near-capacity if not sold out. The audience is quite refined, largely due to the nature of films shown; how many 12-year-olds want to see a movie about the Dixie Chicks being shunned by country-western fans after making anti-Bush statements a few years ago? The audience factor has to be an 8. I'd have rated it higher, but both times we've gone, there has been some chatty Cathy within earshot, usually just a seat away.
Films
Well, they're not everybody's cuppa, but if you're into the indie scene, they do a great job of staying current. The only complaint is that films don't tend to stay there more than 2 or 3 weeks. On the whole, a 9.
Fare
They sell healthful chocolate bars made by local artisans. They're not even that expensive, and they're not so large that you'll comsume three days' calories in one sitting. The choices aren't numerous, but they're quite tasty. I'd give them another 9.
Final Score: 8.67 out of 10.
SOUTH HILLS MALL / GALLERIA
Essentially cookie-cutter versions of the American megamovie complex, these "movie houses" are overpriced and, for Noopers, pretty far away. The only positive is that, because they show so many movies and because they have more screening times, there is a chance that you'll find something you like at a decent hour. Oh, and if you need to combine your shopping pleasure with a movie and you don't like walking, you can't do better. The audience tends to be a bit rougher than in the smaller, local joints -- sort of like the tween and teen crowd, but older. Over all, I'd rate the audience as a 7; at least they don't throw popcorn.
Films
Pretty much the samo samo, with a wide variety both in terms of options and quality. I guess they'd rate a 5.
Fare
You can always bring your own edibles, but these places are easily the worst because altho they serve the same garbage as the New Paltz Cinema, there is no nearby health food store to help out. I'd give them a 3 on food because I'm in a generous mood.
Final score: 5 out of 10
NEW PALTZ CINEMA
General Info
Ample parking day or night. The 4 screening rooms are medium in size, and there are at least 2 showings of each film per day (usually around 7 and 9 pm, with more showings on the weekend). Buying in bulk enables you to see movies for $4 a person. The downside to this theater is also its upside: Because it's in town, it's easy to get to, but that also means that an overabundance of tweens and teens can easily ruin your experience. This was the case a few months ago when I took the kids to "Happy Feet" and a popcorn fight erupted among rival groups of middle schoolers. It's always nice, on the other hand, to run into friends there. On the whole, I'd rate the audience factor a solid 6 out of 10.
Films
They generally show popular films and seem to make a good attempt to balance the ratings so that there is usually a G or PG film on at least one screen. According to some locals we spoke to, there was a recent brouhaha when the homophobic owners refused to show "Brokeback Mountain." I can't vouch for this, and it seems strange behavior in such a liberal-minded locale, but I heard this from more than one person. I'd rate the films another 6.
Fare
Their food (too strong a word, really) is the usual crap found at mall theaters and other large venues. There is nothing New Paltz about the overpriced grub on hand (Raisinettes, etc), but the good news is that they're a minute's walk from a large health food store. Of course, you're not supposed to bring in outside food, but that doesn't stop those of us who try to avoid high fructose corn syrup. For less than the price of those Jujubees, I can sneak in some chocolate covered ginger pieces. This theater could easily spruce up its image by selling homemade cookies and lemonade. The garbage they sell would earn them a 0 for health, but a 5 for variety; however, I'd factor in a 10 for proximity to decent alternatives (ie, the health food store down the block) for an overall 5.
Final score: 5.67 out of 10
RHINEBECK's UPSTATE FILMS
General Info
For Noopers, the place is a bit of a hike, but it's worth it. It can be hard to find a nearby parking spot in a hurry, and it helps to get to the theater early to avoid missing out on the show you want to see (as happened to us once), but membership ($60 a year) has its privileges, and one of them is reduced-price admission ($4 or $5 per film -- I can't recall). The theater has a lovely old feeling to it, like you're stepping into a library mixed with an off-Broadway play. The screening rooms have ample seats, but because the films are offbeat, each showing tends to be near-capacity if not sold out. The audience is quite refined, largely due to the nature of films shown; how many 12-year-olds want to see a movie about the Dixie Chicks being shunned by country-western fans after making anti-Bush statements a few years ago? The audience factor has to be an 8. I'd have rated it higher, but both times we've gone, there has been some chatty Cathy within earshot, usually just a seat away.
Films
Well, they're not everybody's cuppa, but if you're into the indie scene, they do a great job of staying current. The only complaint is that films don't tend to stay there more than 2 or 3 weeks. On the whole, a 9.
Fare
They sell healthful chocolate bars made by local artisans. They're not even that expensive, and they're not so large that you'll comsume three days' calories in one sitting. The choices aren't numerous, but they're quite tasty. I'd give them another 9.
Final Score: 8.67 out of 10.
SOUTH HILLS MALL / GALLERIA
Essentially cookie-cutter versions of the American megamovie complex, these "movie houses" are overpriced and, for Noopers, pretty far away. The only positive is that, because they show so many movies and because they have more screening times, there is a chance that you'll find something you like at a decent hour. Oh, and if you need to combine your shopping pleasure with a movie and you don't like walking, you can't do better. The audience tends to be a bit rougher than in the smaller, local joints -- sort of like the tween and teen crowd, but older. Over all, I'd rate the audience as a 7; at least they don't throw popcorn.
Films
Pretty much the samo samo, with a wide variety both in terms of options and quality. I guess they'd rate a 5.
Fare
You can always bring your own edibles, but these places are easily the worst because altho they serve the same garbage as the New Paltz Cinema, there is no nearby health food store to help out. I'd give them a 3 on food because I'm in a generous mood.
Final score: 5 out of 10
Friday, May 18, 2007
Toin Cosses and other Spoonerisms
Since I was a teenager, I've caught myself transposing the sounds of certain word pairs. People who are dyslexic do this all the time, but I've been reading since I was three, so it's more likely that my linguistic glitches are due to climbing out of my crib and landing on my head when I was 1. No, I take that back. My mom does the same thing, so it's a good bet that this is a genetic trait carried on the X chromosome.
The phrase that gives me the hardest time is Coin Toss. For some reason, those words have been twisted in my brain ever since I learned them. If I don't think ahead of time, I always say Toin Coss instead. Weirder still are my continual mixup of the words umbrella and elevator. I've noticed since childhood that I often say, "I'll go get the umbrella" when I meant that I was going to press the call button for the lift. Apparently these words got filed near each other in my brain: Both go up and down, both are long and thin (sort of), and both are found by opening the front door of my mom's apartment.
My mother has linguistic goofs that she is unable to fix, owing surely to a relative drop in neural plasticity over time; layfolk would comment on the connection between old dogs and new tricks. Some of her idiosyncracies include "counseltation" for consultation and "foo TAHn" for futon. I've mentioned these to her before but to no effect. She's quick as a whip, but language mixups can be really hard to undo.
If you don't think that's so, try talking normally without using a word that has an E. It's not too hard, but it can trip up many folks and is mighty difficulty to do out loud.
But it's not impossible: Note that in the above paragraph, I didn't use the letter in any of the words.
The phrase that gives me the hardest time is Coin Toss. For some reason, those words have been twisted in my brain ever since I learned them. If I don't think ahead of time, I always say Toin Coss instead. Weirder still are my continual mixup of the words umbrella and elevator. I've noticed since childhood that I often say, "I'll go get the umbrella" when I meant that I was going to press the call button for the lift. Apparently these words got filed near each other in my brain: Both go up and down, both are long and thin (sort of), and both are found by opening the front door of my mom's apartment.
My mother has linguistic goofs that she is unable to fix, owing surely to a relative drop in neural plasticity over time; layfolk would comment on the connection between old dogs and new tricks. Some of her idiosyncracies include "counseltation" for consultation and "foo TAHn" for futon. I've mentioned these to her before but to no effect. She's quick as a whip, but language mixups can be really hard to undo.
If you don't think that's so, try talking normally without using a word that has an E. It's not too hard, but it can trip up many folks and is mighty difficulty to do out loud.
But it's not impossible: Note that in the above paragraph, I didn't use the letter in any of the words.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Crap in the Mail
Thanks to a comment from my pal Jolene, I was taken back to the time after we'd just moved to New Paltz... a dark time when our innocent mailbox would be crammed with unsolicited offerings or items for Mr. and Mrs. Previous Owner.
A part-time mailman was responsible for most of the erroneously delivered mail. We could tell when Postman Steve was off duty by the large volume of mail not meant for us. Another problem was the unsolicited stuff. It wasn't addressed only to Mr. and Mrs. Previous. Instead, it had their names on one line and "Or Current Resident" on the next, so there was no way to forward it. Most of this junk mail was seed or clothing catalogs, so a few phone calls to the offending companies put that to rest.
There was still one source of unwanted mail: Welcome packages. For some reason, we received dozens of fat envelopes full of coupons for items we'd never want from shops we'd never visit. I guess mortgage companies sell their lists to Wal-Marts. But new home-owners, despair not: The mailings eventually die down.
A part-time mailman was responsible for most of the erroneously delivered mail. We could tell when Postman Steve was off duty by the large volume of mail not meant for us. Another problem was the unsolicited stuff. It wasn't addressed only to Mr. and Mrs. Previous. Instead, it had their names on one line and "Or Current Resident" on the next, so there was no way to forward it. Most of this junk mail was seed or clothing catalogs, so a few phone calls to the offending companies put that to rest.
There was still one source of unwanted mail: Welcome packages. For some reason, we received dozens of fat envelopes full of coupons for items we'd never want from shops we'd never visit. I guess mortgage companies sell their lists to Wal-Marts. But new home-owners, despair not: The mailings eventually die down.
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